rosemary on the tv

Allllllllll right, y’all. I’m not even going to pretend like I’m about to be nice. Did you watch the Golden Globes? That red carpet was a big ole hot mess.

But before I show you what I didn’t like, I will show you the little bit that I did like.

My favorite: Anne Hathaway. Sleek, on trend without being too trendy, flattering, beautiful. I loved this dress. Some might think the shoulder pads are a little much, but I thought she looked beautiful and classic while still remaining fashionable.

Diana Agron of Glee in one of the few nude dresses I actually liked. This trend was all over the runways and I’m hoping that day-after photos will make all these celebs see what they actually looked like and end this trend as quick as it came. Why does Diana pull it off when most of the others didn’t? Not sure – maybe because she’s young, tiny and has a beautiful peaches and cream complexion that even a nude dress can’t wash out. Her hair, makeup and jewelry were also perfectly dainty and age appropriate.

Lea Michele, also of Glee, was pretty in pink. I loved this dress. For those of us who would never wear a nude evening gown, it  gives a little color and doesn’t wash her out. It’s got just enough ruffles to make it girly but not too frilly. Loved the loose, flowy hair as well, and was glad to see those awful bangs out of her face as they have been in recent episodes. Some critics had hoped she would step out of the box a bit, but I say if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

How perfect was Emma Stone’s dress? So sleek and minimal with that amazing color. Loved. Though I can’t get used to her blonde hair! It’s for a role, so I’ll excuse it, but I sincerely hope she goes back to red ASAP.

Now, before you say “Oh I loved this too!” I should probably mention that this begins with my series of don’t-love-it outfits. People oohed and ahhed over this dress, but personally, I thought it was too much. The ultra fluff made it feel like a cheap prom dress (Marchesa?! Oh no she didn’t! Yeah, I did.) and really, Olivia? Gold spiky shoes to match the silver metallic on your dress? Yeah. Ok.

Another nude dress that I didn’t totally hate. I like the dress. I just think Julie looks washed out in it. Maybe on another actress with different coloring, but this wasn’t a win for me.

As we make our way toward the hated-it phase of this post, January Jones just barely makes it above the cut off line. The hair and makeup were perfect with a siren red dress. I didn’t even mind the plunging neckline (if mine looked like that, I’d show them off too). But everything below that was a mess. The panels cut out of the middle cheapened the look and something about that fringe bothers me.

I know, I know, she’s pregnant and awesome. I love her, I do. And I’m sure being pregnant and trying to find a formal dress and going to an event where the alcohol flows and you must refrain is pure misery. But if she was trying to hide the bump, it didn’t work. If she wasn’t trying to hide the bump, it still didn’t work. The satin is messy and wrinkled, which makes it look cheap. The stem on the rose applique is weird. You can’t tell in this photo, but her French twist was weird too. Miss.

Color: Good. Cut: Bad. Though it was sweet of her to pay homage to Blanche Devereaux.

Uh. If the dress were white and the hair were black, she’d be the bride of Frankenstein. And that’s the best thing I can say about this.

Two words: BOOOOO-RING.

Awful. Oh god, just awful. She hadn’t made it into the building yet and it looked like she’d been wearing that dress for four days. Wrinkles and floppy satin in an unflattering cut. Awful.

No. Terrible bangs. Her beautiful face is hidden! This whole look is just sad. C’mon girl, you’ve got Ryan Reynolds waiting for you at home (maybe). CHEER UP!

More unflattering beige.

Fail.

Love her, but she should know better. This is a mess. The dress, hair, bangles. Messssssss.

Dear J.Lo, Prom 2001 called and wants it’s dress, cape thingy and white eyeshadow back.

No. Just no. This is terrible on so many levels. The color, the daisies, the cut. This makes me sad.

I hate to leave you on such a sad note, but that’s my round up. Did I miss anyone that looked fabulous? Or heinous? No, don’t show me anymore awful outfits. I don’t think I can handle it.

Girls, I hope you got it out of your systems. I expect to see all of you at the Oscars in top form. You hear me?!