Fashion Recap : Emmy time, Emmy wear.

Full disclosure: I didn’t even realize the Emmys were on last night until people started clogging my various social media feeds that Tracy Morgan had passed out on stage (Tricksters! All of you!). I’ve clearly fallen down on the job, and I’ll admit – my fashion critic muscles feel a bit rusty. It was a long, hot summer, y’all! Maybe I’m out of shape, or maybe I’m getting soft, because I gotta say: I was surprisingly pleased with last night’s red carpet looks.

Let’s ease back into awards season nicely, with a few of my favorites:

While Leslie Mann’s look might’ve been a bit casual for, say, the Oscars, it was one of my v. v. favorites at the Emmys. Actors are creative types, so why do I feel as though, more often than not, they lack the guts to be creative on the red carpet? Yellow was definitely the color of the evening and she wore yellow as it was meant to be worn: happily. Well played, Mann, well played.

Love. LOVE! Ginnifer Goodwin can always be counted on to take a fashion risk. Why does she always play frumpy, homely girls in movies? She is so fab and just oozes confidence in her offbeat red carpet choices, so she can always pull off things that a lesser woman couldn’t.

Ariel Winter, who plays the nerdy daughter on Modern Family, is becoming one of my red carpet favorites. She always looks great and age appropriate. And I’m so drooling over this Katharine Kidd gown with chic grey heels. Great hair and makeup too. Win win win win.

Meeeeooowww! Tina looked mighty sexy in Vivienne Westwood. Love this look on her. And I love that Tina has adopted a totally sophisticated red carpet style – so unexpected for the funny lady she is.

LOVED Julie Bowen’s bright yellow dress. It fit like a glove and the color was great on her. But I’m pretty sure I rolled out of bed with better hair this morning. Pretty sure.

Someone’s back on the market and pulling out all the stops. Seriously one of Amy Poehler’s best red carpet looks to date, but if this level hotness comes with the end of the best comedic couple in Hollywood, then please, Amy, let me cover you in this grandma shawl.

Jenna Malone gets my “Most Improved” award. I don’t know what it is about this girl, but she always looks like a greasy, dirty mess. Clearly, she cleaned up her act last night.

Kaley Cuoco’s sunny yellow dress was gorgeous but I thought the hair was a little weird. Not as weird, though, as that time I met her and said, “How do you spell your last name, Haley?” Awkward!

Kat Dennings. Pretty dress, pretty hair. Both totally overshadowed by…those other two things.

I like this dress, but the mechanic sequin pattern and stiffness in the skirt only add to my theory that Nicole Kidman is an alien in a human costume.

And we thought we were bored with Zooey Deschanel’s cutesy persona! I’ve never seen so much self-loathing in a red carpet photo. I like to think she’s gazing jealously at Tina Fey in this photo.

Now, we all know that no celebrity – no matter how much I love them – gets a red carpet pass here at Rosemary on the TV. Not even, dare I say, the one and only Tami Taylor. Connie, you know I love you girl (AND TIM RIGGINS!), but this dress is more than a little unflattering. And I think everyone can agree it’s your magnificent head of hair that has perpetually won you the title of “TV Mom Hottie Dead or Alive,” so you need to let that follicular freak flag fly, baby girl.

Clearly Michelle Dockery does not read my blog or she would know that you CAN NOT WEAR SATIN TO AWARDS SHOWS. I’ve been preachin’ this truth for years. Unless you live next door and can walk on over, you will be wrinkled when you arrive. Lady Mary should’ve consulted a second opinion because:

Moving on…

This dress isn’t terrible, but her matchy shoes and earrings combined with the feathered hair age her about twenty years and make her look like one of the Lawrence Welk Sisters (albeit the easy one).

I’m sorry, y’all, but I have to bust out Kanye Caps for this one. YO KRISTEN! IMMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT QUIT WEARING BEIGE. YOU ALWAYS WEAR BEIGE AND I’M SO OVER IT. YOU ARE A BEAM OF SUNSHINE NOT A SAD DOILY. DRESS LIKE IT. Stern words, soft heart. I love you, girl.

Don’t get me wrong. I love that Christina Hendricks is defying all stereotypes and showing the world that a curvy woman can make it in a waif-driven field. BUT THIS IS NEVER OK. Do you see what is happening in this photo? Right there? Look closely. There…yes, right there under the armpit. NOT OK. Christina, get those girls in check. Letting your boobs outshine you means you are no better than the too-skinny women who try to set some sort of standard for the rest of us.

Now…which one of you will catch me when I jump off this soap box?

You know what this is? This is the bridesmaid dress your most evil Bridezilla frenemy will make you wear and the hairdo her even more evil mother-in-law will insist on. AJudd, you crazy for this one.

As one of my best dressed choices from the Oscars, Glenn has taken quite a fall. Hope she didn’t break her hip. (You: “OMG NO SHE DI’N’T!!!!”)

Y’all. Y’ALL. Stop yelling at me. I know you love Lena Dunham and she’s totally the cool indie “it” girl in Hollywood right now and Girls is, like, so awesome…BUT NONE OF THAT MATTERS. Yes, a shiny, sophisticated Gucci number would be totally wrong on her. But she could’ve found something that was both different/unusual/alternative and still slightly flattering. Her head looks disproportionately small, the rest of her looks giantess and she has absolutely no shape in this.

And that brings us to my Worst Dressed of the evening:

Why would anyone who is capable of looking like this choose to go to an awards show looking like ^this^? The only explanation: She was caught in a Halloween windstorm at Hobby Lobby. You can do better, January. There’s no excuse for this.

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And that’s my take! If you didn’t see someone on this list, it’s probably because I thought they looked pretty but forgettable. Not great, not terrible. Whatevs!

Who were your favorites? Least favorites?

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Read previous fashion recaps here.

8 Responses to “Fashion Recap : Emmy time, Emmy wear.”

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1 Katie Hahn September 24, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Your award show fashion recap’s are laugh out loud funny. Thank you, especially, for the Dowager Countess animation. That really brought it home.

2 Laura September 24, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Are you kitten me right meow!!???!! I totally missed the armpit boob last night. Not sure how… Leslie Mann is totally my favorite!!

3 Colleen September 24, 2012 at 10:47 pm

You are SO on the mark. Kanye Caps and all.

4 Nicole Hunnicutt September 25, 2012 at 9:06 am

I can’t believe I’m about to say this… Tina Fey is my pick for Best Dressed. How unfortunate for January Jones… I typically love her risk-taking red carpet looks. Maybe it’s the severe hair and makeup that I hate most of all, or the fact that she showed up in the sleeveless version of Glenn Close’s gown? Among the Mad Men cast, Kiernan Shipka was my favorite.

5 Kathryn McMorries Heller September 25, 2012 at 9:31 am

Ha! “Lawrence Welk Sisters!” That kills me! I totally disagree with you on Jan. J., though. I love this look and how she has a huge smile on her face.

6 Hannah September 25, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Mann my favorite as well. I was looking forward to your recap! Well done.

7 Sara D. September 26, 2012 at 8:44 am

Connie was the biggest disappointment!!! HOW CAN SOMEONE SO FLY LOOK SO DRAB!? It pained me to see her like that….. Whew.

8 Little Hannah September 27, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Well played as usual Rosemary! Bravo…*with a couple of exceptions, that is:
-Lena Dunham is fifty-eleven times worse than January. Take 12 inches off the length and she’s channeling sunday school in 1993.
-I absolutely refuse to look at one more picture of Gennifer Goodwin until she grows her hair out. I adore a good pixie cut on a girl with the right head for it, which is not her.