Fashion Recap: The Met Gala gets Punk’d

 

For those of you who are unfamiliar, the Met Gala – or Costume Institute Gala – is the opening event for the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s fashion exhibit at the Costume Institute. If the Oscars are THE AWARDS SHOW, then the Met Gala is THE FASHION EVENT. It’s the night Hollywood/New York royalty have got to bring it.

The theme was “Punk: Chaos to Couture” which is kind of awesome. What was NOT awesome was the way most of the people in attendance totally wussed out and tried to pass off a spiky cuff and lots of black eyeliner as punk. So tonight’s fashion winners and losers had to be judged on a completely different set of criteria, factoring in whether or not they embraced the challenge and were able to pull it off in a way that didn’t seem completely contrived. Any celebrity that showed up in an Oscar-worthy ball gown automatically got demoted.

Ready? GO!

"PUNK: Chaos To Couture" Costume Institute Gala

Sienna Miller was a winner for me last night. She managed to look 1) like herself, 2) chic and sophisticated, 3) of-the-moment and 4) punk.

"PUNK: Chaos To Couture" Costume Institute Gala

Only Rooney Mara could make white frilly lace seem kind of bad ass.

"PUNK: Chaos To Couture" Costume Institute Gala

Personally, I think Lauren Santo Domingo can do no wrong. So this Dolce gown with it’s ridiculous puffy sleeves, fishnet neck and spiked choker was a win for me.

"PUNK: Chaos To Couture" Costume Institute Gala

Here’s what was genius about this look: The dress isn’t punk, per se, but the hair and makeup make it feel punk. I dig it.

"PUNK: Chaos To Couture" Costume Institute Gala

Spiked hair and full length fishnet. I feel dirty saying it, but Miley kinda brought it last night. It’s insane and ridiculous but it’s something.

ginnifer-goodwin
Yes. Ginnifer Goodwin gets it. SHE GETS IT.
madonna
This is so insane and I love it. It’s like that scene in Legally Blonde where Reese shows up in the Playboy bunny outfit, only if the theme of the party had been Playboy Bunnies and everyone else was just lame.

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Taylor was close, but I was rocking that same hairdo when “Bridge to Terabithia” was my favorite book.

sarah-jessica-parkerSpeaking of insane, a faux-hawk and tartan boots? I only have one question about this look…
51b859b9-8782-4849-be5a-6923a8aaa66b_sarah-jessica-parker-wardrobe-malfunction-met-ball-gala-2013-dress-knickers-underwear-pants
Did SJP purposely flash her panties last night or was this a boot show gone way wrong?

"PUNK: Chaos To Couture" Costume Institute Gala

January Jones was equal parts horrifying and amazing. Do I think she looks good? No. Do I think she looks punk? Yes.

"PUNK: Chaos To Couture" Costume Institute Gala

When the Met Gala says, “Anna, wear punk.” and Anna says, “Yeah, no.” it’s punk. But only when Anna does it.

"PUNK: Chaos To Couture" Costume Institute Gala

There’s a bit too much blue fabric happening here for my taste, but props for a belt that would literally kill anyone she hugs.

jennifer-lawrence The veil is more goth than punk and the dress is a near-exact replica of the one I wore to college formal in 2005, only infinitely more expensive. But JLaw always makes up for misguided fashion attempts with incredible GIFS:

 Let’s have a frank discussion about pants under dresses. Starting now:

"PUNK: Chaos To Couture" Costume Institute Gala

"PUNK: Chaos To Couture" Costume Institute Gala

"PUNK: Chaos To Couture" Costume Institute Gala

I want to shield my eyes from three of the most beautiful women in Hollywood being RUINED by the insane idea that pants under a dress is ok. Discussion over.

"PUNK: Chaos To Couture" Costume Institute Gala

Judging by her expression, I’d say Chloe and I share an opinion on turbans.

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Everything about this is wrong for this event, and a lot of it is wrong for most events.

elle-fanning

Elle Fanning wasn’t paying attention in history class.

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SEERSUCKER, ZOOEY?!!??! REALLY??!!?!?!?! I’d rather you had worn Jess’s prom/virginity dress and done a Lisa Loeb musical interlude.

"PUNK: Chaos To Couture" Costume Institute Gala

Heidi Klum loves punk so much, she wants to marry it. Like, right now. She’s ready.

US-FASHION-MET-COSTUME-GALA

The theme was “punk,” Uma. Not puke.

metgala

Possible places this carpool was headed when they took a wrong turn and ended up at the Met Gala:

a) The past

b) Medieval Times

c) Westeros

"PUNK: Chaos To Couture" Costume Institute Gala

Punk is as close as Kristen will ever get to attending an angst-themed party (one she should always leave with a crown and a sash). I mean, c’mon, girl. They really softballed this one in for you. This was the best you could do?

Also, your crotch looks like a fortune cookie.

"PUNK: Chaos To Couture" Costume Institute Gala

Um. What?

"PUNK: Chaos To Couture" Costume Institute Gala

Unless “Kiss Me” is playing while Fredde Prinze Jr. takes you to the prom, this is not an acceptable look.

"PUNK: Chaos To Couture" Costume Institute Gala

Nailed it.

US-FASHION-MET-COSTUME-GALA
nicole-richiePunk is dead. That’s what she was trying to say here, right?
gisele-bundchen
Ugh. Plz stop.
That’s my take! Did you guys keep up with the Met Gala coverage? If so, who were your favorites/least favorites? Do you think I am totally insane for some of my choices? Are punks everywhere ripping out their mohawks in a frenzied rage?

5 Responses to “Fashion Recap: The Met Gala gets Punk’d”


  1. 1 Katie Hahn May 7, 2013 at 10:27 pm

    I always love your fashion commentaries. SJP was a winner for me. The mohawk was fabulous. Also, I loved AH’s bleached hair. Sophia Coppola was my favorite, though, because she, in your words, nailed it and looked so comfortable. Comfort at the punk party is a must.

  2. 2 Stace May 7, 2013 at 11:02 pm

    My faves were SJP, Miley all the ladies in Burberry- Sienna and I think it was Cara, and Madonna. I think the Met is when you go all out and I loved Madge, Also is Madonna sacrificing virgins, she looks great for any age.
    Kim- bhahahaha- was punked, this dress proved to me that neither Anna(Wintour) nor Ricardo (Tisci- Givenchy) like her but she is so desperate to please that she accepted that mess. Gwyneth and Cameron disappointed me so much I expected better from them also from Maggie Gyllenhall and Kirsten Stewart who are generally unconventional and I expected to embrace the theme of punk.
    Loved your review

  3. 3 Hannah Alexander May 8, 2013 at 10:59 am

    My favorite is definitely Anna Wintour. She’s like, “Look at all of these fools.”

  4. 4 Hannah Alexander May 8, 2013 at 11:02 am

    Zooey…poor girl. Seersucker aside, She doesn’t know what to do about her bangs. She feels like she IS the hair and needs to change it, but nothing else looks as good on her. I feel for her, and relate.


  1. 1 Met Gala 2014 Fashion Recap : Bigger, Fluffier, Uglier | rosemary on the tv Trackback on May 6, 2014 at 10:01 pm

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