rosemary on the tv

Did you watch the Grammys? I did, even though the Grammys (and Kanye) mostly just make me want to punch stuff.

I’m always weary of fashion recapping the Grammys because these people are rockstars, and the red carpet is just an extension of their performance art. They are supposed to be insane. It’s why we love them. And it’s hard to make fun of that. But then this happens:

And I’m like, screw it. Let’s make fun of them. So here’s a short’n’sweet Grammy recap. Because I love you.

Absolute perfection. I’m not a huge Taylor Swift fan. But this dress? And those shoes? With her legs? And those earrings? It was the perfect dress for her at that moment in time. So she wins.

Hallelujah! Anna Kendrick finally owned that she is one hot mama and rocked this super sexy suit. Look at her face. LOOK AT IT. She knows.

Some might think Sia does this “for attention” but she’s the only person from this red carpet who can successfully indulge in a little Fourth Meal at Taco Bell on the way home without being recognized, so touché, Sia. Touché indeed.

Dress: good. Hair: only good when covered in an icing glaze and purchased from a vending machine during a hangover.

For someone who once wrapped herself in prosciutto like a stalk of asparagus, “Jersey mob wife” is a surprisingly boring reincarnation.

CakeWrecks.com

Who even IS Rita Ora? Other than the designer knock-off version of Rihanna (available exclusively at TJ Maxx and Marshalls).

If I was married to Ye, I’d be too exhausted to wear anything but a bathrobe either.

Yo Paris, IMMA LET YOU FINISH but first Imma let Prince tell you what I think of you:

But seriously tho her chest looks like pancakes.

Who wore it best?  <—click link

If the Grammy’s didn’t end with a choreographed prom scene/rap dance battle, then this outfit was for naught.

Jem and the Holograms realize that “rockstar” is not a sustainable career choice and are forced to seek entry-level work in a competitive job market.

(There was a time in my life when I was Jenny Lewis’ #1 swimfan, but this outfit thing is gimmicky and I hate that.)

When the staff at Good Shepherd Nursing and Independent Living Facility told Madonna her saloon stripper talent show act was “too exciting” for the other elderly residents, she took her show on the road. To the Grammys.

And I’m out. Tell me your favorites (good and bad) in the comments!