Posts Tagged 'sag awards'

SAG Awards 2014 Fashion Recap or “Oh, the SAG Awards were this weekend?”

Ah, the SAG Awards. The Screen Actors Guild Awards. The awards show for actors, by actors. The awards show that no one cares about. Not even TV. Which is why they air on TNT. You’re probably like, “I didn’t even know the SAG Awards were this weekend!” and you are not alone. Did I watch it? Hell no! Did anyone bother to make funny GIFs about it? Absolutely not! Am I still gonna make fun of celebrity red carpet dresses from it? UH, DUH!slide_333355_3336324_free

Lupita Nyong’o wins again! For being a first timer on the red carpet this season, the girl is NAILING her dress choices. I thought this blue was so perfect against her dark skin, and while there was interest at the neck, she kept the rest simple, so nothing felt like too much.

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Best she’s looked all year. This dress fits her like a freaking glove and totally makes her spunky hair look amazing. Finally, Dior dressed the girl, rather than girled the dress. (BTW it’s just black sequins, but in all the pics it has a crazy color thing happening from all the flashing bulbs.)

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As I was going through celeb red carpet photos, there were a ton of people I didn’t recognize. Then I realized it was because THEY WERE ALL THE CAST OF DOWNTON ABBEY and they’re far less hideous in real life! It’s so thrilling to see Lady Edith look completely unlike Lady Edith. Like, guys, she’s so pretty! I’m usually not a fan of this color, but the shimmery fabric made it forgivable. I loved the draping of this dress, how flattering it was at the waist and the killer bracelet. Though, had it been me, I wouldn’t have done a black shoe.

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Dude. This is the wife from Breaking Bad. She looks way hot. Props, lady.

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I rarely include Maria in my fashion recaps because she ALWAYS looks model gorgeous, ALWAYS wears tasteful dresses and she is NEVER important. Like, she isn’t nominated or presenting. Is she even invited? Does she host red carpet coverage? I don’t know because I can’t force myself to listen to Guiliana or Seacrest or heaven forbid Carson Daly talk to famous people without wanting to stick sharp objects in my ears.

But I loved this dress. Loved it. So she gets to play today.

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I LOVE this dress and the earrings were perfect with it. But something about this look isn’t  jiving for me and I think it’s her hair. Amy is one Pantene dollop short of having Tami Taylor hair, but she’s always pulling it back in unflattering updos. I think she was going for “Old Hollywood” here but it just comes off as “Old.”

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I thought Gretchen Mol looked amazing and I seriously applaud a pale person who wears white. My only beef – ONLY beef – with this dress was that the mesh on top was a tad Foot Locker.

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I thought this was pretty and simple, not boring but also not newsworthy, which is exactly the kind of dress you should wear when you look in your closet and say, “What should I wear tonight? I mean………it’s just the SAG Awards.”

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At first when I saw this pic of Ariel, I was like “Ahhh, she looks so pretty!” and I was happy to place her back in my “Nearly Always Looks Awesome on the Red Carpet” file. Then, I saw this picture:

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And I realized she took a page out of the Christina Hendricks playbook. She’s young, though. She still has time to learn how to lasso those things, so I’ll give her a pass on this.

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OMG FREAKING FINALLY SOFIA. For once, you’re wearing something that’s a little different from your normal bombshell mermaid dresses. The necklace is a little much with this dress, but that’s minor. I almost didn’t recognize her when I saw this photo and that’s actually a good thing.

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I think if literally any other actress had worn this dress, I would’ve declared it hideous and moved on. Yet because it’s Cate, I gave it some serious consideration. But as I’ve said before, I try to be objective here, so I’m begrudgingly placing this in the ugly bin and never speaking of this moment again.

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When I write fashion recaps, I put all the photos in, then rearrange them in order from best to worst. I kid you not, I have moved this photo at least six times. Do I like it? Do I hate it? There is a LOT happening. There’s some sparkly stuff, and a dark sheer panel, then an ecru panel, then some black stuff in the back. This dress is a trick question, right?

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It is absolutely admirable that Kerry Washington would wear a crop top on the red carpet while totes preggers. And her pink clutch, lipstick and hair look fabulous. But this custom Prada outfit is a hot mess for a lot of reasons. The biggest one being:

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Remember that period of time in the mid-to-late 1990s when it was cool to cut slits in the ankles of your straight-leg jeans so they’d lay all cool over your Doc Martens? THIS IS THE PRADA EQUIVALENT OF THAT. Do pregnancy hormones make you do crazy things?! Because she’s pregnant and this is crazy.

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Is it a vest? Is it a tuxedo? I don’t know the answer to those questions. But I DO know that it’s kinda ugly. Sorry, girl!

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While I’ll give Kelly props for doing the purple hair thing and sticking with it for this long, this dress feels like a monument to her purple hair and that’s just taking things too far.

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If you’re planning to travel back in time to Prom Night 1982 and need a dress, I’m sure my mom still has a McCall’s pattern for something like this tucked away in her collection of vintage sewing patterns. She can also do a MEAN French twist if you’d like.slide_333355_3336420_free

Tromp l’oeil, tuxedo t-shirt or a pair of pretty sweet Ninja Turtles pajamas? YOU DECIDE.

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Juliette Lewis needs to remove this dress and use it to upholster her fainting couch immediately, because I’m presuming she’s going to need one when she finally gets a look at herself in the mirror.

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Amanda Peet made this dress from the fabric scraps left over from the eight dresses she wore to the Emmys.

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So, Julia wore this. And at first, I was like “Oh, that’s not terrible.” It’s boring and too short with a weird middle slit, but hey, it’s not a white button-up under a dress! Amiright?

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WRONG. I’M WRONG. I’M SOOOO WRONG. IT’S SO MUCH WORSE THAN THAT. I’LL NEVER UNSEE THIS. *claws furiously at eyeballs*

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I haven’t bothered putting Sarah Paulson in my last few fashion recaps because she always wears stupid dresses that are always this stupid length. But now, I feel like she’s baiting me. This dress is the equivalent of holding a fishing pole over my head with a Chik’n Mini on the hook.

And for that, I deem her worst dressed.

Your turn! Who’d you love? Who’d you hate? Who didn’t know that the SAG Awards were a thing?

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2013 SAG Awards Fashion Recap or “Best Awards Show for Cheap, Cheap Jokes”

I’m not even going to pretend like I watched the SAG Awards last night because 1) it’s the SAG awards and 2) I was too busy being STABBED IN THE FEELINGS while watching Downton Abbey. I don’t want to talk about it. I do, however, want to talk about the hot mess that happened on the red carpet last night. Let us not waste time! I’ll begin with the looks I didn’t hate:

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Favorite! Everything about this was perfect – the color, the styling, even the way Marion used the ancient art of French magic to keep her satin skirt from wrinkling.

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Nina Dobrev looked amazing and I promise I’m not just saying that because I love Vampire Diaries. Because I don’t love Vampire Diaries! Who over the age of 17 loves Vampire Diaries??? Definitely not me! That’s crazy talk.

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Admitting that Kelly Osbourne looks amazing on the red carpet feels like using a shopping cart at the liquor store. You know you shouldn’t, but sometimes the occasion just calls for it.

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I feel like I should be making fun of Julie Bowen’s leather dress, but I actually like it. I think the conservative cut and styling keep it from being over-the-top. What are your thoughts on this?

Now let’s pause for the Navy Train choo choo!

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(Amanda Seyfriend wins, BTW.)

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Ok, despite the fact that Nicole let her husband fix her hair for her, I actually really liked this dress.

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I know I gave Claire Danes crap for always looking boringly hot on the red carpet, and she CLEARLY reads this blog because she def spiced things up a bit last night. That lipstick might’ve impressed Jordan Catalano, but (to quote another queen of the 90s) it don’t impress me much.

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I’ll take “Things You Shouldn’t Wear to an Awards Ceremony Called SAG for $2000, Alex.”

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There’s no reason that Jessica Chastain shouldn’t be the best dressed gal at all the awards shows, but not even Super Spanx can save this look from being way too tight. (Are Super Spanx a thing? Can they be?)

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This might be the first time Ariel Winter isn’t at the top of my list. Unfortch, this look is a little too young. Like maybe chipmunks and birds should be fixing her hair and singing about a handsome prince.

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I already made a cleavage joke about the SAG awards, didn’t I? Dang….moving on then.

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Judging by the nips and crinkles in this dress,  I’m pretty sure the fabric came from a sale bin at JoAnn’s. It looks almost as cheap as that ombre dye job. Oh no she di’n’t! ::snaps in a Z formation::

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I mean…we’re all thinking the same thing, right?

VERY IMPORTANT UPDATE!!! 

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This was Aaron’s genius idea.

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This Lady From That Entertainment News Show usually plays it tastefully safe. But that was before the sludge from Fern Gully tried to strangle her and steal her body.

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True story: Kaley Cuoco was rude to me once because I asked her how to spell her last name and also because I said it like this, “How do you spell your last name, Haley?” But I promise, that part was accidental. I also promise that wasn’t the reason why I LOLed when I saw this photo.

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Rose was too busy matching her curls to the ruffles on her dress to notice THE ABSOLUTE HIDEOUSNESS OF HER DRESS.

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C’MON ANNE! This dress is ill-fitting, unflattering and downright stupid. It is, without a doubt, your second worst wardrobe-related decision in recent memory. AND STAND UP STRAIGHT.

Honorable mentions to Amy and Tina, Naomi Watts and all the other ladies that looked pretty but neither good nor bad enough for me to make this post any longer than it is.

So tell me, did you watch the SAG awards or are you nursing a bleeding heart for Lady Sybil tonight?


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