Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

Met Gala Red Carpet Recap OR Dresses that Hurt to Sit In

So in case you are like “seriously wtf is the Met Gala”, let’s just jump right in with a refresher: The Met Gala is a fundraiser for the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute hosted by Anna Wintour. It’s a Fashion Thing. And every year, Anna Wintour trolls all of Hollywood by giving it a theme that is basically an opportunity for them to look like idiots, or in last year’s case, probably be racist.

A lot of celebs half-ass the theme, because they don’t want to look stupid. But then they look sort of stupid for not showing up on theme. So basically Anna Wintour is as wonderfully evil as The Devil Wears Prada made us think she is.

Our future’s looking bright, guys!

claire-full-front-zoom-2196e65b-30a7-4270-a0e9-7955dd73d75a  

This wins all red carpets ever. It perfectly encapsulates the theme; it’s flawless in the light AND in the dark. So do we all just go home now orrr…..?

GettyImages-527447848-510x766

I heart this dress and felt it didn’t get nearly enough attention. That train is just. JUST. UGH. And the simple black bodice and sleek hair were perfectly styled. She is a freaking peacock. I want one opportunity in my life – ONE – to walk up some stairs in a dress like this.

That said, it takes second place for me only because it wasn’t really on theme like Claire’s.

enhanced-16253-1462235758-1

When I originally saw this, my jaw dropped to the floor. I got to Googlin’ to see who made it, and found out it was actually a pant suit? Which made me *kinda* sad until I read that it was made completely of recycled plastic bottles which made my jaw drop AGAIN. Because this might be the most creative interpretation of the theme. And probably I wouldn’t have loved it at any other event. But for this particular event, I’m here for it.

enhanced-30279-1462235751-4

Another favorite: Karolina’s “Cognitive Dress” was designed by Marchesa and IBM and featured lights that changed colors according to reactions from her social media accounts. This was a super cool idea that could’ve ended badly in execution, but this dress would’ve been one of my favorites without the lights. So, win!

enhanced-29133-1462234402-1

I’m usually the first person to roll my eyes at Kate Hudson on the red carpet. Something about Versace in general, but especially on her, gives me some pretty hardcore mall-store vibes. But this was so weird and pretty and perfect on her.

 

Props to these ladies for arriving on-theme and looking hot, but unless your metal dress gets a good Wifi signal, I’m deducting points for lack of creativity.

enhanced-28778-1462233351-1

When you’re still holding out hope for that Practical Magic Netflix reboot.

(I love this dress tho)

enhanced-29418-1462234010-1

I wobble back and forth between loving and not loving this dress. It’s gorgeous and she looks great in it, but it shows just a skosh too much of her hip area for me to be totally on board.

enhanced-7034-1462239691-2

Zayn looks like a futuristic gladiator, and Gigi looks like the sexy legal property of a futuristic gladiator.

enhanced-6872-1462239690-15

Dress: YES. Wig: Backwards.

“Hello there, sweetie. Come look at what I knitted for you! I’m not a regular grandma, I’m a cool grandma!”

FFN_CHP_MET_CostumeGala_050216_52042488-510x778

The shape and artistry of Bey’s latex dress is a true example of “Manus x Machina”- BUT (and I will not post a photo here because I do not want to sully the image of Our Queen that you’ve undoubtedly built up in your mind) in close ups of her in this, she is sweating to an UNCOMFORTABLE degree. AS WE ALL WOULD. The sweat is running down the inside of the dress, and the material is stuck to her skin. There are photos where *ahem* parts of her are literally fogging up the dress. Like, there’s a reason she held her clutch in that spot all night. I imagine her trying to go to the bathroom and something like this happening:

ross leather pants

enhanced-822-1462237628-8

Emma Stone looks sexy but also like she’s really into Dungeons and Dragons cosplay, which means there’s a nerd somewhere with only two wishes left.

enhanced-2783-1462239702-10

Can I crop the top two inches off this photo and say I love it? Because I love the dress and the color and Lupita, but y’all, I just can’t with that hair.

enhanced-2798-1462229770-7

Person: “This technology-themed Met Gala is gonna be a hot topic on the web tomorrow!”

Taylor, looking up from her iPhone: “Hot Topic theme? I got this.”

enhanced-3569-1462237829-1

When you find out your ex is gonna be at the Met Gala and the only way you can deal is to get really high first.

enhanced-10051-1462236372-3

When you find out your ex is gonna be at the Met Gala and the only way you can deal is to get really high first.

INTERLUDE FOR PICS OF CELEBRITIES’ TEENAGE KIDS THAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.

enhanced-10833-1462237095-16

How does that old saying go? “Those who seek attention wear the shiniest outfits.” Yeah, I think that’s the one.

enhanced-7777-1462232312-1

I don’t know what the HAIM sisters are wearing but if you don’t cover your ears when they start singing, your soul will be trapped in the body of a woodland creature for an indeterminate amount of time.

enhanced-10803-1462237095-12

When your sister drops the dopest album of the decade and you gotta represent that in dress form.

enhanced-17214-1462228797-1

Alicia Vikander’s dress looked like someone tried to upcycle one of those oversized bikini t-shirts, but failed quite miserably.

enhanced-10880-1462235393-1

Teen Witch alternate ending: Louise shows up to prom in this outfit and tells Brad she’s leaving him to pursue her dream of being a rock star and tbh she can’t have some high school jock dragging her down.

But not before having one last badass dance scene. It’s her finest hour, after all.

 

INTERLUDE FOR PICS OF CELEBRITIES WHO THINK THE FUTURE/TECHNOLOGY JUST MEANS POSING LIKE A ROBOT?

enhanced-29113-1462234004-5

Kerry looks like she ransacked the sale bin at the Halloween Super Store. Like I’m honestly a little offended at how bad this is?

 

enhanced-2012-1462236497-1

When u mad cuz u found out Cinna designed Claire Danes’ dress and u gotta wear something from some no-name Capital designer.

enhanced-17929-1462231564-8

“Yes, hello, is this the line for Hamilton auditions?”

enhanced-15906-1462229550-7

“Dear Lord. I said a loose interpretation, not to go full android.” – Anna Wintour probably

I mean, listen, we’ve all got our Jon Snow fantasies, but the Met Gala is not an appropriate place to act out your Game of Thrones erotica fan fic, babe. Leave that weird shit at home.

In closing:

my mood 24/7

Golden Globes 2015 Fashion Recap

WHAT UP HATERS. It’s been a year. Did you miss me? Last night’s Golden Globes were a complete trainwreck, so what better time to resurrect the ol’ blog for a good old fashioned red carpet recap?
golden globes 2016 alan cumming
A refresher course for those of you who don’t remember last year’s GGs: Amy and Tina were rays of light as the hosts, and powerful speeches on equality were given by the likes of Patricia Arquette and Common.
This year? Not so much. Ricky Gervais was back as host, and watching the crowd cringe every time he made a joke made me cringe in turn. Lots of cheap, tasteless jokes were made, and for some reason, they brought Mel Gibson out to introduce Mad Max, like the passage of time has made it okay to be a terrible human being.
On the bright side, however, someone made this happen:
ryan gosling brad pitt golden globes 2016
 And this:
Golden Globe Awards jennifer lawrence golden globes amy shumer

The evening’s biggest red carpet trend was cleavage. The second biggest trend was cleavage slathered in olive oil. Some of those girls were so slick, I was worried for the safety of nearby ducks and geese. With that, let’s dive right in to this oil spill of a red carpet, shall we?

jenna-dewan-drupal

My favorite dress of the evening belonged to Jenna Dewan-Tatum, wife to He of the Yukon Golds, Channing Potatum. This dress was not only incredibly gorgeous, the fit was perfect and the navy blue was the perfect color on her. Loved the simple hair and jewelry too.

corinne-foxx-5920ee35-de02-40a7-a0a4-41f9e9d798de

Miss Golden Globe, which is essentially Hollywood’s version of debutantes and usually a title bestowed to a celebrity’s daughter, was Corinne Foxx. Her take on the to-the-belly-button deep V was so ethereal and lovely. One of my favorites.

enhanced-4672-1452469461-8

Oh my god it’s so unjust that some people get to look like that AND have a British accent.

enhanced-8628-1452469537-6

Laverne Cox continues to slay on the red carpet. This gown was gorgeous and the emerald earrings were the perfect accessory.

enhanced-10633-1452467602-1

PSA: It took us more than 2000 years, but we finally realized you can put pockets on dresses. Life is good, we’re all happy about it. But if your dress has pockets, you ARE allowed to take your hands out of them.

*LOVE* this dress on her, though.

enhanced-21291-1452474730-1

Julianne Moore’s red carpet history is spotty at best, but that’s only because she has never worn BLUE SEQUINS BEFORE. So rad.

enhanced-24697-1452468443-1

Jaimie Alexander looked tops. The pattern is a little 1980s cruise ship but the colors are gorgeous. And that is the DEEPEST of V’s but it doesn’t feel X-rated like it might on, say, Kirsten Dunst…

enhanced-13869-1452470626-11

“Why, Miss March, I thought your family were temperance people!”

Huge amounts of cleave aside, this dress was gorgeous.

enhanced-5245-1452471798-4

Perfect hair and great dress, though not quite as great as Laverne Cox’s similar all-white look.

PROPS to Taraji, however, for handing out cookies on her way to the stage to accept her award. The whole “I didn’t expect to win so I didn’t prepare a speech” thing is so exhausting. Humility’s great, but sometimes it’s okay to be happy that you won a thing.

enhanced-14015-1452470258-1

This dress was gorgeous but had some fit issues. Is the top too big? Does it weigh a million pounds? Is her posture bad? Is she hunching over or are her abs that amazing? Too many unanswered questions for it to be a favorite, but it came damn close.

enhanced-5386-1452467727-1

I’d give this dress a rose even though I want to rip that lace piece off the top and give her a plunging neckline. Fun fact: Bryce Dallas Howard had to buy this dress off the rack at Neiman’s because designers only send you one dress option when you’re a size six, and if you don’t like it, you’re SOL.

YUP. ENJOY YOUR DINNER, LADIES.

enhanced-2070-1452474565-9

Well folks, glad to see that after an entire year, Dior is still foisting J.Law into dresses that are too grown up for her. There’s nothing particularly offensive going on here, and that necklace is jaw-dropping, but combined with the matronly hair and dyed-to-match shoes, this look was a little too First Lady for me.

enhanced-3516-1452470207-1

IN CAR PULLING INTO GOLDEN GLOBES:

Natalie Dormer: “Well, shit, my double sided tape isn’t sticking. How will I keep my dress up?!”

Natalie’s Assistant: “All I have in my purse is a paperclip, some dental floss and this back-up-for-emergencies-only black thong.”

Natalie: ::raises one eyebrow::

FFN_RIJ_GOLDEN_GLOBES_SET1_011016_51943446-419x575

Amy Schumer may have a reputation for being disreputable, but I never expected her to fight a nun for her habit.

Wendy’s in the front, Little Debbie in the back, but I won’t hate too hard because those are two ladies who deal in delicious snacks.

enhanced-22341-1452474592-1

The Marilyn look was fine but there’s something so weirdly inhuman about Lady Gaga, that it’s weird to see her standing next to a mortal. Stop dressing like a person, Queen of the Aliens. Go back to putting bacon on your face.

jennifer-lopez-golden-globes-2016-FFN_RIJ_GOLDEN_GLOBES_SET1_011016_51943435-510x607

I will never see a yellow dress with red lipstick and not think Ronald McDonald. This look is proof that you CAN have too much of a good thing (and I don’t just mean spray tan *ahem*). Cape’s good, dress is good, accessories are great, hair and makeup on point, Angelina leg-jut fine whatever. But all together, it was just too much.

enhanced-27451-1452468374-2

Weirdly twee…like she borrowed it from Zooey Deschanel. However, she and America Ferrara were perfect presenting together. Next year’s hosts?

enhanced-17916-1452472060-1

Jane Fonda wearing vintage Pagliacci.

She was v. unamused at Johan Hill’s antics last night. Her date still can’t believe the spell he cast to bring coffee filters to life actually worked!

enhanced-20175-1452472854-10

This dress is actually in remarkable shape for divers finding it among the wreckage of the Titanic.

enhanced-20179-1452467795-7

Giuliana is beginning to look like someone who will come to collect your first born child if you make any sort of deal with her.

enhanced-10191-1452472648-1

Cate Blanchett preparing for her role in the upcoming broadway production of “Annie Get Your My Little Pony.” This bitch is METHOD.

enhanced-32718-1452474633-1

Katy Perry brought In-n-Out burgers for her table at the Golden Globes, as though this outfit wasn’t already trying too hard.

enhanced-26567-1452473206-10

I can’t look at this without hearing Britney’s throaty oooooh yeahhhh from the opening bars of “Oops…I Did it Again.” Not a complete look without butterfly clips, and thus, Kate Hudson is my worst dressed.

That’s my take. Leave your best/worst picks in the comments!

Need a place to relax?

Couch for sale!

The BAD news is that this is a “for sale” post, kindly directing you to my Craigslist ad and gently encouraging you to buy my couch and love seat, if you are so inclined. They are very comfortable and come with three, READ IT: THREE, slipcovers.

The GOOD news is that the only reason we are selling our couch and love seat is because something very, very lovely will be taking their place tomorrow! (Hint: you sit on it. And it’s pretty.)

I’m going to leave you hanging until it’s here. Suspense! It’s fun!

SAG Awards 2014 Fashion Recap or “Oh, the SAG Awards were this weekend?”

Ah, the SAG Awards. The Screen Actors Guild Awards. The awards show for actors, by actors. The awards show that no one cares about. Not even TV. Which is why they air on TNT. You’re probably like, “I didn’t even know the SAG Awards were this weekend!” and you are not alone. Did I watch it? Hell no! Did anyone bother to make funny GIFs about it? Absolutely not! Am I still gonna make fun of celebrity red carpet dresses from it? UH, DUH!slide_333355_3336324_free

Lupita Nyong’o wins again! For being a first timer on the red carpet this season, the girl is NAILING her dress choices. I thought this blue was so perfect against her dark skin, and while there was interest at the neck, she kept the rest simple, so nothing felt like too much.

slide_333355_3336323_free

Best she’s looked all year. This dress fits her like a freaking glove and totally makes her spunky hair look amazing. Finally, Dior dressed the girl, rather than girled the dress. (BTW it’s just black sequins, but in all the pics it has a crazy color thing happening from all the flashing bulbs.)

slide_333355_3336445_free

As I was going through celeb red carpet photos, there were a ton of people I didn’t recognize. Then I realized it was because THEY WERE ALL THE CAST OF DOWNTON ABBEY and they’re far less hideous in real life! It’s so thrilling to see Lady Edith look completely unlike Lady Edith. Like, guys, she’s so pretty! I’m usually not a fan of this color, but the shimmery fabric made it forgivable. I loved the draping of this dress, how flattering it was at the waist and the killer bracelet. Though, had it been me, I wouldn’t have done a black shoe.

463534691-419x628

Dude. This is the wife from Breaking Bad. She looks way hot. Props, lady.

slide_333355_3336467_free

I rarely include Maria in my fashion recaps because she ALWAYS looks model gorgeous, ALWAYS wears tasteful dresses and she is NEVER important. Like, she isn’t nominated or presenting. Is she even invited? Does she host red carpet coverage? I don’t know because I can’t force myself to listen to Guiliana or Seacrest or heaven forbid Carson Daly talk to famous people without wanting to stick sharp objects in my ears.

But I loved this dress. Loved it. So she gets to play today.

slide_333355_3336122_free

I LOVE this dress and the earrings were perfect with it. But something about this look isn’t  jiving for me and I think it’s her hair. Amy is one Pantene dollop short of having Tami Taylor hair, but she’s always pulling it back in unflattering updos. I think she was going for “Old Hollywood” here but it just comes off as “Old.”

slide_333355_3336066_free

I thought Gretchen Mol looked amazing and I seriously applaud a pale person who wears white. My only beef – ONLY beef – with this dress was that the mesh on top was a tad Foot Locker.

slide_333355_3336416_free

I thought this was pretty and simple, not boring but also not newsworthy, which is exactly the kind of dress you should wear when you look in your closet and say, “What should I wear tonight? I mean………it’s just the SAG Awards.”

enhanced-buzz-1087-1390091338-0

At first when I saw this pic of Ariel, I was like “Ahhh, she looks so pretty!” and I was happy to place her back in my “Nearly Always Looks Awesome on the Red Carpet” file. Then, I saw this picture:

slide_333355_3335933_free

And I realized she took a page out of the Christina Hendricks playbook. She’s young, though. She still has time to learn how to lasso those things, so I’ll give her a pass on this.

slide_333355_3336271_free

OMG FREAKING FINALLY SOFIA. For once, you’re wearing something that’s a little different from your normal bombshell mermaid dresses. The necklace is a little much with this dress, but that’s minor. I almost didn’t recognize her when I saw this photo and that’s actually a good thing.

slide_333355_3336068_free

I think if literally any other actress had worn this dress, I would’ve declared it hideous and moved on. Yet because it’s Cate, I gave it some serious consideration. But as I’ve said before, I try to be objective here, so I’m begrudgingly placing this in the ugly bin and never speaking of this moment again.

slide_333355_3336345_free

When I write fashion recaps, I put all the photos in, then rearrange them in order from best to worst. I kid you not, I have moved this photo at least six times. Do I like it? Do I hate it? There is a LOT happening. There’s some sparkly stuff, and a dark sheer panel, then an ecru panel, then some black stuff in the back. This dress is a trick question, right?

slide_333355_3336118_free

It is absolutely admirable that Kerry Washington would wear a crop top on the red carpet while totes preggers. And her pink clutch, lipstick and hair look fabulous. But this custom Prada outfit is a hot mess for a lot of reasons. The biggest one being:

463549523_10-419x612

Remember that period of time in the mid-to-late 1990s when it was cool to cut slits in the ankles of your straight-leg jeans so they’d lay all cool over your Doc Martens? THIS IS THE PRADA EQUIVALENT OF THAT. Do pregnancy hormones make you do crazy things?! Because she’s pregnant and this is crazy.

slide_333355_3336269_free

Is it a vest? Is it a tuxedo? I don’t know the answer to those questions. But I DO know that it’s kinda ugly. Sorry, girl!

slide_333355_3335926_free

While I’ll give Kelly props for doing the purple hair thing and sticking with it for this long, this dress feels like a monument to her purple hair and that’s just taking things too far.

slide_333355_3336412_free

If you’re planning to travel back in time to Prom Night 1982 and need a dress, I’m sure my mom still has a McCall’s pattern for something like this tucked away in her collection of vintage sewing patterns. She can also do a MEAN French twist if you’d like.slide_333355_3336420_free

Tromp l’oeil, tuxedo t-shirt or a pair of pretty sweet Ninja Turtles pajamas? YOU DECIDE.

enhanced-buzz-17088-1390092561-4

Juliette Lewis needs to remove this dress and use it to upholster her fainting couch immediately, because I’m presuming she’s going to need one when she finally gets a look at herself in the mirror.

463629395-419x628

Amanda Peet made this dress from the fabric scraps left over from the eight dresses she wore to the Emmys.

463569385-419x629

So, Julia wore this. And at first, I was like “Oh, that’s not terrible.” It’s boring and too short with a weird middle slit, but hey, it’s not a white button-up under a dress! Amiright?

463565357-419x635

WRONG. I’M WRONG. I’M SOOOO WRONG. IT’S SO MUCH WORSE THAN THAT. I’LL NEVER UNSEE THIS. *claws furiously at eyeballs*

slide_333355_3336272_free

I haven’t bothered putting Sarah Paulson in my last few fashion recaps because she always wears stupid dresses that are always this stupid length. But now, I feel like she’s baiting me. This dress is the equivalent of holding a fishing pole over my head with a Chik’n Mini on the hook.

And for that, I deem her worst dressed.

Your turn! Who’d you love? Who’d you hate? Who didn’t know that the SAG Awards were a thing?

Recouping…

1468584_635559207664_193871460_nI spent the second half of last week in Dallas for the wedding of one of my very best friends. We. Had. A. Blast. Too much fun, actually. I didn’t get nearly enough sleep and there may have been a slight shoulder injury during a bridesmaid dress emergency (long story). So I’m spending today recouping and catching up on work I missed last week. But check back in this week because I have a fun house update! See you soon!

GPOYDT : Lula’s 5th Birthday!

vsco_0

My baby’s all grown up! Lula turned five years old on Friday and I’m just having a little bit of trouble getting used to that fact. She got a new toy that she doesn’t want to share, a bag of homemade dog treats from the farmer’s market (organic!), and a handful of clingy hugs from me.

{Gratuitous Picture of Your Dog Tuesday is exactly that: I post a photo of my dog Lula every Tuesday. Have a blog? Get in on this action. Everyone loves cute dog photos.}

happy weekend : buzzfeed!

happyweekend

enhanced-buzz-12293-1364588289-3

 

So this is kind of old news, but I kept forgetting to share it with you all! A couple of weeks ago, my friend Jessi alerted me that our newspaper-as-weed-stopper trick/The Pin Heard ‘Round the World had been included in a Buzzfeed list of 28 Surprising Things That Actually Work (According to Pinterest). As someone who can’t resist a good Buzzfeed list (see here, here and here), this was high praise.

Hope you have a happy weekend!

time for a big announcement!

11833_518247521224_7253225_n

148636_526210268814_2644809_n

378163_985983803597_1880804308_n

481107_603643237524_520506780_n

 

A couple of weeks ago, Aaron and I got engaged! Yay!!! I waited to announce it on the blog until all the necessary aunts, grandparents, college friends, etc. had heard the news. We haven’t had time to do much planning, but we are looking at getting married next fall, which gives us plenty of time to plan with our hectic schedules. I can’t wait to share the details with all of you!

 

see you next week!


199565827209303157_tx84DIro_c
I’m headed out of town for the rest of the week to visit some out of town friends and see some Christmas-y sights. I can’t wait to tell you all about it next week! Follow me on Instagram if you want to follow along: @rohallma.

{image}

 

 

Do you watch The Voice?

I’ve basically checked out this week because The Voice blind auditions have begun. If you didn’t peg me for a Voice fan, you were….correct, actually. I’d never watched an episode until last night. But you see:

 

My BFF Cody auditioned this year! And I have it on good authority that he made the cut!

(I’m trying to act all in the know, but NBC’s promo video actually gave it away, so it’s not really a secret. You can see Cody in the first episode at the 2:40 and 3:00 marks.)

So everyone should watch the show this season and root for my BOY! In the meantime, I’ll be searching for as many blackmail worthy photos I can find. Beginning with this one. Muahahaha!

 

You can/should “like” Cody’s Facebook page for updates!

 


FOLLOW ALONG

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 944 other followers

INSTAGRAM

I'm a nearly 32 year old woman who wanted a funfetti cake for her birthday, so @astraus made one and brought it to the restaurant. 😘😘😘

Categories

Sundry Mumsy