Met Gala Red Carpet Recap OR Dresses that Hurt to Sit In

So in case you are like “seriously wtf is the Met Gala”, let’s just jump right in with a refresher: The Met Gala is a fundraiser for the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute hosted by Anna Wintour. It’s a Fashion Thing. And every year, Anna Wintour trolls all of Hollywood by giving it a theme that is basically an opportunity for them to look like idiots, or in last year’s case, probably be racist.

A lot of celebs half-ass the theme, because they don’t want to look stupid. But then they look sort of stupid for not showing up on theme. So basically Anna Wintour is as wonderfully evil as The Devil Wears Prada made us think she is.

Our future’s looking bright, guys!

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This wins all red carpets ever. It perfectly encapsulates the theme; it’s flawless in the light AND in the dark. So do we all just go home now orrr…..?

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I heart this dress and felt it didn’t get nearly enough attention. That train is just. JUST. UGH. And the simple black bodice and sleek hair were perfectly styled. She is a freaking peacock. I want one opportunity in my life – ONE – to walk up some stairs in a dress like this.

That said, it takes second place for me only because it wasn’t really on theme like Claire’s.

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When I originally saw this, my jaw dropped to the floor. I got to Googlin’ to see who made it, and found out it was actually a pant suit? Which made me *kinda* sad until I read that it was made completely of recycled plastic bottles which made my jaw drop AGAIN. Because this might be the most creative interpretation of the theme. And probably I wouldn’t have loved it at any other event. But for this particular event, I’m here for it.

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Another favorite: Karolina’s “Cognitive Dress” was designed by Marchesa and IBM and featured lights that changed colors according to reactions from her social media accounts. This was a super cool idea that could’ve ended badly in execution, but this dress would’ve been one of my favorites without the lights. So, win!

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I’m usually the first person to roll my eyes at Kate Hudson on the red carpet. Something about Versace in general, but especially on her, gives me some pretty hardcore mall-store vibes. But this was so weird and pretty and perfect on her.

 

Props to these ladies for arriving on-theme and looking hot, but unless your metal dress gets a good Wifi signal, I’m deducting points for lack of creativity.

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When you’re still holding out hope for that Practical Magic Netflix reboot.

(I love this dress tho)

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I wobble back and forth between loving and not loving this dress. It’s gorgeous and she looks great in it, but it shows just a skosh too much of her hip area for me to be totally on board.

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Zayn looks like a futuristic gladiator, and Gigi looks like the sexy legal property of a futuristic gladiator.

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Dress: YES. Wig: Backwards.

“Hello there, sweetie. Come look at what I knitted for you! I’m not a regular grandma, I’m a cool grandma!”

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The shape and artistry of Bey’s latex dress is a true example of “Manus x Machina”- BUT (and I will not post a photo here because I do not want to sully the image of Our Queen that you’ve undoubtedly built up in your mind) in close ups of her in this, she is sweating to an UNCOMFORTABLE degree. AS WE ALL WOULD. The sweat is running down the inside of the dress, and the material is stuck to her skin. There are photos where *ahem* parts of her are literally fogging up the dress. Like, there’s a reason she held her clutch in that spot all night. I imagine her trying to go to the bathroom and something like this happening:

ross leather pants

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Emma Stone looks sexy but also like she’s really into Dungeons and Dragons cosplay, which means there’s a nerd somewhere with only two wishes left.

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Can I crop the top two inches off this photo and say I love it? Because I love the dress and the color and Lupita, but y’all, I just can’t with that hair.

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Person: “This technology-themed Met Gala is gonna be a hot topic on the web tomorrow!”

Taylor, looking up from her iPhone: “Hot Topic theme? I got this.”

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When you find out your ex is gonna be at the Met Gala and the only way you can deal is to get really high first.

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When you find out your ex is gonna be at the Met Gala and the only way you can deal is to get really high first.

INTERLUDE FOR PICS OF CELEBRITIES’ TEENAGE KIDS THAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.

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How does that old saying go? “Those who seek attention wear the shiniest outfits.” Yeah, I think that’s the one.

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I don’t know what the HAIM sisters are wearing but if you don’t cover your ears when they start singing, your soul will be trapped in the body of a woodland creature for an indeterminate amount of time.

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When your sister drops the dopest album of the decade and you gotta represent that in dress form.

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Alicia Vikander’s dress looked like someone tried to upcycle one of those oversized bikini t-shirts, but failed quite miserably.

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Teen Witch alternate ending: Louise shows up to prom in this outfit and tells Brad she’s leaving him to pursue her dream of being a rock star and tbh she can’t have some high school jock dragging her down.

But not before having one last badass dance scene. It’s her finest hour, after all.

 

INTERLUDE FOR PICS OF CELEBRITIES WHO THINK THE FUTURE/TECHNOLOGY JUST MEANS POSING LIKE A ROBOT?

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Kerry looks like she ransacked the sale bin at the Halloween Super Store. Like I’m honestly a little offended at how bad this is?

 

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When u mad cuz u found out Cinna designed Claire Danes’ dress and u gotta wear something from some no-name Capital designer.

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“Yes, hello, is this the line for Hamilton auditions?”

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“Dear Lord. I said a loose interpretation, not to go full android.” – Anna Wintour probably

I mean, listen, we’ve all got our Jon Snow fantasies, but the Met Gala is not an appropriate place to act out your Game of Thrones erotica fan fic, babe. Leave that weird shit at home.

In closing:

my mood 24/7

Golden Globes 2015 Fashion Recap

WHAT UP HATERS. It’s been a year. Did you miss me? Last night’s Golden Globes were a complete trainwreck, so what better time to resurrect the ol’ blog for a good old fashioned red carpet recap?
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A refresher course for those of you who don’t remember last year’s GGs: Amy and Tina were rays of light as the hosts, and powerful speeches on equality were given by the likes of Patricia Arquette and Common.
This year? Not so much. Ricky Gervais was back as host, and watching the crowd cringe every time he made a joke made me cringe in turn. Lots of cheap, tasteless jokes were made, and for some reason, they brought Mel Gibson out to introduce Mad Max, like the passage of time has made it okay to be a terrible human being.
On the bright side, however, someone made this happen:
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 And this:
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The evening’s biggest red carpet trend was cleavage. The second biggest trend was cleavage slathered in olive oil. Some of those girls were so slick, I was worried for the safety of nearby ducks and geese. With that, let’s dive right in to this oil spill of a red carpet, shall we?

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My favorite dress of the evening belonged to Jenna Dewan-Tatum, wife to He of the Yukon Golds, Channing Potatum. This dress was not only incredibly gorgeous, the fit was perfect and the navy blue was the perfect color on her. Loved the simple hair and jewelry too.

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Miss Golden Globe, which is essentially Hollywood’s version of debutantes and usually a title bestowed to a celebrity’s daughter, was Corinne Foxx. Her take on the to-the-belly-button deep V was so ethereal and lovely. One of my favorites.

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Oh my god it’s so unjust that some people get to look like that AND have a British accent.

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Laverne Cox continues to slay on the red carpet. This gown was gorgeous and the emerald earrings were the perfect accessory.

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PSA: It took us more than 2000 years, but we finally realized you can put pockets on dresses. Life is good, we’re all happy about it. But if your dress has pockets, you ARE allowed to take your hands out of them.

*LOVE* this dress on her, though.

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Julianne Moore’s red carpet history is spotty at best, but that’s only because she has never worn BLUE SEQUINS BEFORE. So rad.

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Jaimie Alexander looked tops. The pattern is a little 1980s cruise ship but the colors are gorgeous. And that is the DEEPEST of V’s but it doesn’t feel X-rated like it might on, say, Kirsten Dunst…

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“Why, Miss March, I thought your family were temperance people!”

Huge amounts of cleave aside, this dress was gorgeous.

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Perfect hair and great dress, though not quite as great as Laverne Cox’s similar all-white look.

PROPS to Taraji, however, for handing out cookies on her way to the stage to accept her award. The whole “I didn’t expect to win so I didn’t prepare a speech” thing is so exhausting. Humility’s great, but sometimes it’s okay to be happy that you won a thing.

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This dress was gorgeous but had some fit issues. Is the top too big? Does it weigh a million pounds? Is her posture bad? Is she hunching over or are her abs that amazing? Too many unanswered questions for it to be a favorite, but it came damn close.

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I’d give this dress a rose even though I want to rip that lace piece off the top and give her a plunging neckline. Fun fact: Bryce Dallas Howard had to buy this dress off the rack at Neiman’s because designers only send you one dress option when you’re a size six, and if you don’t like it, you’re SOL.

YUP. ENJOY YOUR DINNER, LADIES.

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Well folks, glad to see that after an entire year, Dior is still foisting J.Law into dresses that are too grown up for her. There’s nothing particularly offensive going on here, and that necklace is jaw-dropping, but combined with the matronly hair and dyed-to-match shoes, this look was a little too First Lady for me.

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IN CAR PULLING INTO GOLDEN GLOBES:

Natalie Dormer: “Well, shit, my double sided tape isn’t sticking. How will I keep my dress up?!”

Natalie’s Assistant: “All I have in my purse is a paperclip, some dental floss and this back-up-for-emergencies-only black thong.”

Natalie: ::raises one eyebrow::

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Amy Schumer may have a reputation for being disreputable, but I never expected her to fight a nun for her habit.

Wendy’s in the front, Little Debbie in the back, but I won’t hate too hard because those are two ladies who deal in delicious snacks.

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The Marilyn look was fine but there’s something so weirdly inhuman about Lady Gaga, that it’s weird to see her standing next to a mortal. Stop dressing like a person, Queen of the Aliens. Go back to putting bacon on your face.

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I will never see a yellow dress with red lipstick and not think Ronald McDonald. This look is proof that you CAN have too much of a good thing (and I don’t just mean spray tan *ahem*). Cape’s good, dress is good, accessories are great, hair and makeup on point, Angelina leg-jut fine whatever. But all together, it was just too much.

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Weirdly twee…like she borrowed it from Zooey Deschanel. However, she and America Ferrara were perfect presenting together. Next year’s hosts?

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Jane Fonda wearing vintage Pagliacci.

She was v. unamused at Johan Hill’s antics last night. Her date still can’t believe the spell he cast to bring coffee filters to life actually worked!

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This dress is actually in remarkable shape for divers finding it among the wreckage of the Titanic.

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Giuliana is beginning to look like someone who will come to collect your first born child if you make any sort of deal with her.

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Cate Blanchett preparing for her role in the upcoming broadway production of “Annie Get Your My Little Pony.” This bitch is METHOD.

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Katy Perry brought In-n-Out burgers for her table at the Golden Globes, as though this outfit wasn’t already trying too hard.

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I can’t look at this without hearing Britney’s throaty oooooh yeahhhh from the opening bars of “Oops…I Did it Again.” Not a complete look without butterfly clips, and thus, Kate Hudson is my worst dressed.

That’s my take. Leave your best/worst picks in the comments!

GRAMMYS 2015 Fashion Recap or What Ppl Were Wearing When the Great Beck/Beyonce War of ’15 Began

Did you watch the Grammys? I did, even though the Grammys (and Kanye) mostly just make me want to punch stuff.

The 57 Best Things About The 57th Annual Grammys

I’m always weary of fashion recapping the Grammys because these people are rockstars, and the red carpet is just an extension of their performance art. They are supposed to be insane. It’s why we love them. And it’s hard to make fun of that. But then this happens:

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And I’m like, screw it. Let’s make fun of them. So here’s a short’n’sweet Grammy recap. Because I love you.

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Absolute perfection. I’m not a huge Taylor Swift fan. But this dress? And those shoes? With her legs? And those earrings? It was the perfect dress for her at that moment in time. So she wins.

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Hallelujah! Anna Kendrick finally owned that she is one hot mama and rocked this super sexy suit. Look at her face. LOOK AT IT. She knows.

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Some might think Sia does this “for attention” but she’s the only person from this red carpet who can successfully indulge in a little Fourth Meal at Taco Bell on the way home without being recognized, so touché, Sia. Touché indeed.

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Dress: good. Hair: only good when covered in an icing glaze and purchased from a vending machine during a hangover.

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For someone who once wrapped herself in prosciutto like a stalk of asparagus, “Jersey mob wife” is a surprisingly boring reincarnation.

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CakeWrecks.com

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Who even IS Rita Ora? Other than the designer knock-off version of Rihanna (available exclusively at TJ Maxx and Marshalls).

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If I was married to Ye, I’d be too exhausted to wear anything but a bathrobe either.

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Yo Paris, IMMA LET YOU FINISH but first Imma let Prince tell you what I think of you:

Prince's Face Basically Sums Up This Year's Grammy Awards

But seriously tho her chest looks like pancakes.

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Who wore it best?  <—click link

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If the Grammy’s didn’t end with a choreographed prom scene/rap dance battle, then this outfit was for naught.

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Jem and the Holograms realize that “rockstar” is not a sustainable career choice and are forced to seek entry-level work in a competitive job market.

(There was a time in my life when I was Jenny Lewis’ #1 swimfan, but this outfit thing is gimmicky and I hate that.)

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When the staff at Good Shepherd Nursing and Independent Living Facility told Madonna her saloon stripper talent show act was “too exciting” for the other elderly residents, she took her show on the road. To the Grammys.

And I’m out. Tell me your favorites (good and bad) in the comments!

Golden Globes 2015 Fashion Recap or “Golden Globes and Social Justice For All”

The Golden Globes: the marriage of television and film (I say marriage because a lot of actresses showed up in bridesmaid dresses last night). As usual, the world’s greatest actors were unable to memorize the six lines required to present an award, nor did they bother to look up correct pronunciation of nominee names. And boy did everyone have a platform last night. TBH, the whole thing felt a little like more like a social justice rally than an awards show, but that’s not a bad thing, I guess?

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Tina and Amy delivered a hilarious monologue, but were barely on stage for five minutes the rest of the show. Did anyone else think the Margaret Cho bit when on a little long? Also – if Tina and Amy really aren’t hosting next year, who wants to sign my petition to get Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader as hosts?

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As for the red carpet: there was very little that amazed me. Not in a good way at least. There were a few amazingly bad dresses, but the whole thing felt like a bunch of women crawled out of a dark non-awards season cave and reached for the first thing their light-deprived eyes could focus on. Maybe it’s all a long con to make us ooh and ahh (OMG – my computer just autocorrected that to “pooh and agh”) over the dresses they’re saving for the Oscars? Whatever. Let’s do this.

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I’ve seriously never had to do so much Googling to figure out who wore my favorite look of the evening. Turns out, it’s Julia Goldani Telles from The Affair, a person I don’t know from a show I’ve never watched. YAY! This Carmen Marc Valvo dress is so gorgeous – the cut, the color. She reminded me of Snow White!

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As usual, I uploaded all the red carpet looks and painstakingly began putting them in order from best to worst, and I was surprised (okay, not really) to find that Emma Stone’s Lavnin pants were one of my favorite looks of the night. I AM PREPARED FOR YOUR BACKLASH, PEOPLE. I know a lot of people hated the ass bow, but I don’t mind it. The rest of her look was flawless, and this was one of those outfits that ONLY Emma could pull off. This gal is on the fast track to reaching Cate Blanchett red carpet status.

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Elie Kemper in Naeem Khan is another prime example of when everyone else shows up in boring dresses and I love yours automatically for being different. Though I probably would’ve loved this one regardless. This is the best she’s ever looked.

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I’ll admit, I’m a little obsessed with the color of Felicity Jones’ Dior dress. But not in a fashion way. In a I-want-to-paint-a-room-in-my-house-this-color way. But I loved the whole look on her. Very timeless and elegant, while still feeling new and fresh.

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While Emily Blunt’s Michael Kors dress was sort of in the “it’s good or whatever” category, the way she styled it was everything. The turquoise earrings and bracelet, and the Grecian up-do made her look ethereal and lovely.

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As someone who has spent at least 23% of my life trying to make my hair more voluminous, I can’t get on board with this slicked-to-the-head hairstyle. It feels harsh to me. Am I crazy? Hair aside, Diane Kreuger looked fab as usual. Silver was the color of the evening to be sure. She’s like a shiny, scary, beautiful robot from the future, who’s come to prophesize fashionable alien takeover in the year 2164.

Three women who shined bright like a diamond:

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Honorable mention to these blinding babes who all looked lovely in sparkles.

Three women looking lovely in all their Chiquita splendor:

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Leslie Mann wore sparkly Kaufman Franco, and I loved the green clutch and earrings.

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Naomi Watt’s Bulgari snake necklace was a scene stealer. My only complaint about her look was that the red lip/yellow dress combo was a TOUCH Ronald McDonald. A pink or coral lip would’ve work better for me.

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And finally, Jenna Dewan-Tatum had the unfortunate foresight to choose a Russett potato for a husband, but the fortunate foresight to wear this delightful yellow dress.

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Lupita Nyong’o is essentially wearing the dress version of one of those old timey swim caps. And I don’t hate it, amazingly enough. I don’t think anyone else could’ve pulled off this Giambattista Valli dress, but totally did.

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Two women who wanted to party like it’s 1999:

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Remember these? Gwynnie and J.Lo both wore dresses that were modern adaptations (or just sneaky throwbacks) to their infamous Y2K ensembles.

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Obviously, J.Lo has figured out that the combination of low cut, slit-to-there, smoky eye and nude lip make her the Benjamin Button of human women, so I can’t blame her for still rocking the same look 15 years later.

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Gwyneth, however, has done nothing but eat kale and frown at pears for the last ten years. Her cellular makeup should actually be reducing in both age and size, Benjamin Button style. Dresses should not exist that look too small on her, but this one somehow managed to. I think it’s time Gwyneth consciously uncoupled with pink dresses forever.

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I won’t lie: this dress fit like a glove and made her bod look smoking hot. But I can’t make myself love it. There’s something mall store about Versace that I just can’t get on board with. Like it’s the high design version of Express or Bebe.

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Speaking of Versace, here’s another one I liked but didn’t love. The thing about Versace is: you can look like a million bucks, but that million bucks was probably made through some combination of shady interactions.

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Kate Beckinsale is stepping into Claire Danes’ former throne as Queen Boring Hot. Like, yeah, she looks good but what else did you expect? And do you really care?

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Overall, I liked Chrissy Teigen’s dress a lot. But if I could make a note in the margin, it would be that the pelvic area kinda reminds me of granny panties. And I can’t see past granny panties. I just can’t.

Six women whose dresses were inspired by the dancing lady emoji 💃:

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And just like the dancing lady emoji, these dresses weren’t my favorite (👍, 🔪, 💸, 🍕) but they also weren’t my least favorite (🍠, 📩, 🎍, 👥).

We now interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to discuss Tina and Amy.

Were Tina and Amy part of a secret, soon-to-be-aired Project Runway challenge last night? Their dresses were sort of theme-y: Tina was always in some combination of blingy black and white, while Amy stuck to simple frocks from the blue-indigo-violet section of the rainbow:

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Amy’s first dress would’ve gotten a contestant kicked off the show for lack of imagination, but Tina’s dress was made by the Project Runway Hot Mess Contestant(TM) who ends up duct taping their dress together just before the model hits the runway. Tim Gunn has an oh-so-horrified hand on his chest right now.

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Their second outfits looked as if the first dresses had been deconstructed and the scraps were used to make them much more acceptable dresses. Tina’s is still a little weird, but LOADS better than before. Amy’s was her best of the evening.

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For their final outfit change, Tina showed up in a sort of deconstructed tuxedo that should’ve been cheesy but was totally amazing. And Amy had butterfly cleavage. Which I think pretty much just speaks for itself.

Three women who actually found a chance to wear that bridesmaid dress again:

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Of the bridesmaids in attendance, I’m giving Amy the Maid of Honor award for wearing the most flattering dress. But the color was more mother of the bride than bridesmaid, and neither of those categories are exactly sexy.

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Wrinkled satin. I can’t.

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And more wrinkled satin, this time in an unflattering cut and fabric that looks exactly like a set of drapes that used to hang in my grandmother’s sitting parlor.

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Sienna Miller’s dress was a big ole bag of blah, and while her hair and makeup were totally fab, points were deducted because at first glance I thought this was a photo of Kelly Ripa. ::shudder::

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Reese Witherspoon is the red carpet equivalent of Lunesta.

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Kerry Washington is almost always flawless from the waist up. Nay, from the knees up. But tea-length dresses make her look like a tiny fashion elf. And Kerry, you are not an elf. YOU ARE A GLADIATOR. Handle this.

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I love Jennifer Aniston, but something about her style seems stuck in the early oughts. I mean, for crying out loud, the girl still wears bootcut jeans with leather belts. Like her day-to-day outfits, this dress was way 2001, even a little matronly. (Except for the moment when she ALMOST flashed everyone as she walked up the stairs to present – that was decidedly UNmatronly.)

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Maybe this dress looked divine next to your macrame plant hangers, Claire, but:
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Two women who went ONE ACCESSORY TOO FAR:

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Hear that? It’s the collective disappointed sigh of a nation who thought they’d found their next fashion icon. Oh, Amul. You’re smarter than this. No, literally, YOU ARE SMARTER THAN THIS. George may be dreamy, but you are not an eight year old who just got asked to the ball by Disney’s Prince Charming™.

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My reaction to this belt with this dress is pretty much the same as everyone else’s:

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Three women who drooped it like it (wasn’t) hot:

droopydresses

Dear Amanda Peet, Kristin Wiig and Melissa McCarthy,

So, here’s just, like, a generally good rule to follow when choosing things to wear: if it can be described as “droopy,” don’t wear it.

Yours forever,

Rosemary


Three GIFs that describe how I’m feeling r/n:


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How I feel about Guiliana:

Golden Globes Steve Carrell

 

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An improvement for Lena but still just like:

Vulture.com animated GIF

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LITERALLY EVERYONE’S REACTION:

Golden Globes Chrissy Teigen

 

And finally, my worst dressed of the evening is a big, fat “no duh”: 

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I read that it took 30 people to make Keira Knightley’s Chanel dress. I like to imagine that’s one person to sew it and 29 people to stand around politely asking them not to.

Golden Globe GIFs

AND PEACE. (Leave your best/worst picks in the comments please!)

 

Our Wes Anderson-Inspired Couples Shower

A Wes Anderson-Inspired Couples Wedding Shower | Rosemary on the TV

The wedding approacheth, guys. Three weeks-ish until Aaron and I are united as one and I’m free to get fat and cut my hair off. Just kidding. Sorta. Leading up to the wedding, we’ve had a few wedding-related events, including a couples shower that our wonderful wedding party threw us. When my man of honor, Cody, and I were talking about what sort of details to include in the shower, we got a bit carried away (as we tend to do when we’re together), and we decided a Wes Anderson shower would be a fun theme that wasn’t overdone or too girly.

A Wes Anderson-Inspired Couples Wedding Shower | Rosemary on the TV

A Wes Anderson-Inspired Couples Wedding Shower | Rosemary on the TV

A Wes Anderson-Inspired Couples Wedding Shower | Rosemary on the TV

We had already rented the recently renovated Big Maumelle Pavilion at Pinnacle Moutain State Park, which is out in the woods near the water. Our Moonrise Kingdom-esque camp setting was good to go, albeit a little hard to find. Sorry to all our friends who got lost driving around in the woods. Oops!

A Wes Anderson-Inspired Couples Wedding Shower | Rosemary on the TV

A Wes Anderson-Inspired Couples Wedding Shower | Rosemary on the TV

Next up: props. Since my mom is currently renovating her house, canvas drop cloths were numerous and accessible, so we used them as tablecloths over the metal picnic tables. My mom also used to own a theater and still has a storage shed full of great props, so we raided her prop supplies and our houses for anything that reminded us of Wes Anderson: directors chairs, vintage suitcases, lanterns, globes.

A Wes Anderson-Inspired Couples Wedding Shower | Rosemary on the TV

A Wes Anderson-Inspired Couples Wedding Shower | Rosemary on the TV

The True Love letterpress print is by my friends Roll & Tumble Press, and is available here. The boxing gloves above, framed butterflies below and the landscape paint-by-numbers art in the top photo are all from Clement/Sweet Home in Little Rock.

A Wes Anderson-Inspired Couples Wedding Shower | Rosemary on the TV

A Wes Anderson-Inspired Couples Wedding Shower | Rosemary on the TV

Cody came through with some great props as well, all scored from his friend, Nashville stylist Kate Mills of katekillsit.com, including a gramophone and old tennis rackets. For actual music, however, we had a great playlist of Wes Anderson soundtrack music, made by the best man.

A Wes Anderson-Inspired Couples Wedding Shower | Rosemary on the TV

A Wes Anderson-Inspired Couples Wedding Shower | Rosemary on the TV

For dinner, we kept things simple. My dad smoked some brisket, pulled pork and chicken, and the bridal party pitched in potluck style and made baked beans, potato salad and pasta salad.

A Wes Anderson-Inspired Couples Wedding Shower | Rosemary on the TV

A Wes Anderson-Inspired Couples Wedding Shower | Rosemary on the TV

A Wes Anderson-Inspired Couples Wedding Shower | Rosemary on the TV

For dessert, I set up a s’mores bar, which I think was a hit, but I’m not entirely sure because I was too busy stuffing my face with s’mores.

A Wes Anderson-Inspired Couples Wedding Shower | Rosemary on the TV

A Wes Anderson-Inspired Couples Wedding Shower | Rosemary on the TV

Our centerpiece, however, was the canoe. A perfect example of why my man of honor is my man of honor. In all of our party planning brainstorming, I said it would be SO COOL if we could get a canoe to fill with ice and serve drinks out of. Cody didn’t bat an eyelash, and showed up at my house that day with a canoe strapped to his truck.

A Wes Anderson-Inspired Couples Wedding Shower | Rosemary on the TV Aaron and I felt so thankful that our friends came out to support us. Also a huge thank you to Heather Canterbury for taking all the amazing photos in this post!

A Teeny, Tiny NYC Apartment Tour

Oh hey there! As you might’ve noticed, I took a little blog break. No biggie. It’s just that owning a business + planning a wedding is way hard. PRIORITIES, y’all. I can’t guarantee that my posts will be on the regs between now and when I get home from my honeymoon, but I’ve got some good stuff to share, so let’s do this!

A Teeny, Tiny Apartment Tour

I love a tiny apartment. I used to live in one, remember? Tiny apartments force you to be creative with how you use your space, but you can also make a bold impact in a small space. Recently, my friend Summer moved into this itsy bitsy 470-square-foot apartment and gave me permission to share her photos with all of you!

A Teeny, Tiny Apartment Tour | Rosemary on the TV

A Teeny, Tiny Apartment Tour | Rosemary on the TV

A Teeny, Tiny Apartment Tour | Rosemary on the TV

A Teeny, Tiny Apartment Tour | Rosemary on the TV

A Teeny, Tiny Apartment Tour | Rosemary on the TV

A Teeny, Tiny Apartment Tour | Rosemary on the TV

A Teeny, Tiny Apartment Tour | Rosemary on the TV

A Teeny, Tiny Apartment Tour | Rosemary on the TV

This little sewing nook is one of my favorite spots! I love the gallery wall (who hasn’t wanted that For Like Ever poster?) and her use of a lucite desk is a great choice because it doesn’t take up visual space.

The Emmys 2014 or Something Something Cary Joji Fukunaga Something

typing animated GIF

Accurate portrayal of how I looked writing this fashion recap today.

Ah, the Emmys. NBC’s last ditch effort to show the world the charms of Seth Meyers. I love Seth, I do, but the jokes last night were like dad jokes from the nineties – a little corny, a little safe, VERY dated. So I’m not sure if making him the host will necessarily boost his ratings. What’s worse, Ricky Gervais, who has been a notorious past host, was maybe the funniest presenter of the night.
There weren’t many surprises: Breaking Bad won everything, Sarah Silverman was high, Julia Roberts never learned to walk properly in heels. One pleasant surprise, however, was that Cary Joji Fukunaga, the creator/director of True Detective, looks like this:
66th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Press Room
The only other pleasant surprise from last night was that the red carpet was about 85% good. Maybe I’m getting soft in my old age, but I was highly impressed with the amount of pretty I saw last night. Yes, Lena Dunham completely skewed my average (we’ll get to her later), but overall, I didn’t have a whole lot of complaining to do. So my apologies if this recap feels too nice. I’ll try to make up for it next time.
::rubs hands together like an evil villain::


66th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals
66th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals

Well, it’s official. I have a BIG, LESBIAN CRUSH on Lizzy Caplan, and you can put that in your Burn Book. And yes, I could fit at least seven more Mean Girls references in here, but I’ll just stop now and say what I’m thinking: she looks absolutely phenomenal.

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WHO IS THIS AND WHY IS HER DRESS SO AMAZING?

No but seriously, who is this? I found the photo last night and now I can’t seem to track where it came from and I honestly don’t know who this person is.

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Sarah Hyland’s really had a hard time of it on the red carpet. Basically her entire life. She’s always dressed matronly or cougar-y or just plain badly, so when I saw this, I just wanted to pinch her little cheeks and gift her an inscribed copy of “Oh The Places You’ll Go” and tear up when she walks across the stage, and put a bumper sticker on my car letting everyone know that my child is a Red Carpet Honor Roll student at Hollywood High.

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This look was kind of crazy and I loved it. The styling was perfect – perfect shoes, perfect jewelry and purse – and an EXCELLENT call on hair and no necklace. Anything else would’ve competed with the dress.

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So I didn’t know she was pregnant until I saw this photo. Isn’t she, like, fourteen years old? Either way, best I’ve ever seen her look on the red carpet!

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Amy has my heart. Everything she did last night was perfection – from the moment Seth introduced her:

To when she introduced Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harralson by saying “Please welcome two gentlemen whose names are also items at marijuana dispensaries,” she is pretty much just nailing life right now. And her hair/dress combo were totally fab.

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The cast of Orange is the New Black all looked fabulous – well, almost all (I’m looking at you, Prepon) – but Laverne Cox was the winner for me. The cape was perfection, and coming off the VMAs, where she looked like THIS, I’d say she wins for the weekend.

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I couldn’t find a great photo of this look, but it so totally worked on her. It was swishy and modern and cool – much cooler than when she announced “The COLE-BORT Report” won then immediately rode her surfbort off stage.enhanced-8124-1409008489-1

Overall, this dress was a win for me. I’m not normally a fan of this shape, or this person, but she looks nice and if I tried to say otherwise, it would be my waist envy talking.

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I was underwhelmed by this. I can’t put my finger on why. The cut was sort of boring. Like it’s just hanging on her, and she’s not really doing anything to sell it. She’s a human clothes hanger with  a Christmas garland around her neck.

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This is the only time in recent memory that Kristen Wiig didn’t wear something the color of panty hose to an awards show. It’s a vast improvement for her.

And now, a short interlude where we take a moment to remember these starlets who would’ve looked great had it not been for their bad hair. We’ll always remember you ladies!

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Poor Zooey. She catches flack for always having the same bangs, but when she tries to grow them out, we hate. Her dress was perfect for her, but I think if she’s going to attempt a bangless existence, she’ll need to change something about the rest of her ‘do. That middle part is a little bit “Islands in the Stream”-era Dolly Parton, which ONLY works on Dolly Parton.

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I love you, Mindy. But if me, you and Danny Castalano are ever going to succeed as a non-traditional family, you’re going to have to lose the Bump-it.

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This dress was fabulous, but since no one else present at the Emmy’s had rained on hair, I imagine January Jones showed up under one of those personal pan Eeyore rain clouds.

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It’s past time that Skrillex shaved head thing crawled back to the dark corner from which it came, and the only acceptable form of this haircut seen on red carpets anymore should be in the super awkward growing-out phase. But Kelly’s looks freshly shaved. And that’s disappointing.

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

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The cardinal rule of dressing is that you can’t mix orange and black together without looking like those nasty, wax-paper toffee candies that everyone throws away when they’re digging for the good Halloween candy.

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Besides being the same sad color from head to toe, this looks like it was borrowed from the dressing room of a woman who used to be sexy sixty years ago and now clings to the Good Old Days as hard as her brittle hand bones will allow.

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If you liked Amanda Peet’s dress, I’m sure my mom still has the McCall’s pattern for my 1994 Easter dress which looked almost identical to this.

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Sarah Paulson either wore this monstrosity of a dress, or she wore a nice black dress and this perfectly timed photograph was taken just seconds after she spontaneously combusted.

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Mayim Bialik has a Ph.D in Neuroscience, so if I knew anything about neuroscience, I’d make a neuroscience-related joke here. Something about brain failure. I don’t know, I’m feeling lazy. You do the rest.

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And finally. Lena Dunham dressed as one of those Barbie doll toilet paper roll covers, only if Barbie had bad posture, no bra, and a habit for mouth breathing.

YOUR TURN! Who’d you love and who’d you hate?

Homemade Marshmallows Recipe

Homemade Marshmallows Recipe | Rosemary on the TV

 

Happy National S’mores Day!

I’m celebrating this holiest of holidays with a guest post on making homemade marshmallows over at Treatsie! They are really easy and about 100 times more delicious than that jet-puffed garbage you buy at grocery stores. Check out this post here.

Happy Weekend + Stella & Dot Winner!

Happy Friday everyone! Two updates for y’all:

Two Non-Girly Ways to Wear Pink | Rosemary on the TV

1) I’ve got another post up at Bourbon and Boots about how to wear pink without looking like a girly girl. So check that out if you’re interested.

Stella and Dot GIVEAWAY! | Rosemary on the TV

2) And more importantly, we’re excited to announce the winner of the Stella & Dot giveaway from (the amazing) Casie Selig! Congrats to Jamie Bradshaw for winning the Renegade Cluster Bracelet! Jamie, watch your email for instructions on claiming your priiiize! Thanks to everyone who entered, and if you didn’t win this one – better luck next time! Feel free to browse Casie’s Stella & Dot site anytime or contact her if you want to purchase something or host a trunk show.

Momofuku Milk Bar Crack Pie Recipe

Momofuku Milk Bar Crack Pie Recipe | Rosemary on the TV

If you’ve ever been to a Momofuku Milk Bar, then you know the sort of treasures to be had there. Birthday cake truffles (don’t), cereal milk ice cream (stop), compost cookies (I can’t). It is a heaven of delicious treats. And their top seller? The Crack Pie, named so because it is as addictive as a highly illegal drug. Turns out, Crack Pie ain’t hard to make. And should be a required skill considering that even those who live in NYC and have access to them can’t buy them for less than $44 a pop.

So head on over to Bourbon and Boots where my recipe is up and waiting for you.

PS. Don’t forget to enter our Stella & Dot giveaway! We’ll announce this winner tomorrow!


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You guys. I don't even like country music but Hayes Carll always freaking delivers. #littlerock

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